I will be waiting
by Nosferatu523
Summary: Alzheimer, Grimmjow learned was a son of a bitch. As he fights for his orange haired lover to not forget him, the blue haired male touch s rock bottom, being the strong espada he is, battling Aizen and surviving as an adjuchas, well none of that prepared him for what he had to overcome at the moment...the inmense feelings he was starting to experience. AU


**Re-Uploaded. f-a-n-f-i-c-t-i-o-n(DOT) net thought it would be funny to take some of my stories off the site .l.**_  
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**Warnings: sexual intercourse between men and extreme fluff.  
**

* * *

_No matter what happens,  
I will love you, cherish you…forever._

_So, don´t forget me…try your hardest, please._

_And even if you do not remember me,  
I will make you fall in love with me once, twice, as many times necessary…if only it means to keep you as mine._

_Aishiteru.  
_

* * *

They had never suspected anything. They never knew what hit them until it was too late.

For Ichigo was suffering, hurting, _forgetting_ and his lover could do nothing but stay with him, remember for him, be with him, love for both of them…

And even if they had known before, it would have all been futile; for there wasn´t a cure known for Alzheimer.

It started with simple irrelevant things, where he put the car keys, his wallet, and one day Ichigo had forgotten he had done the laundry (after having dried it half an hour ago) it was then when Grimmjow became worried stress was causing the shinigami to do funny things and took him to the hospital.

"Grimm, I´m fine" Ichigo had said with a roll of eyes at the over exaggerating male.

Narrowing his pair of blue orbs at the orange head he merely glared before muttering, "Best be safe and have you diagnosed."

"Whatever"

Just as Grimmjow was about to retort, a nice brown haired nurse came out and cheerfully called out Ichigo´s name.

"Let´s go berry."

That lone visit to the hospital had changed their entire lives.

After a few questions from the medic and a couple of physical exams, the medic had taken his sweet time checking every minuscule detail of the results before he had sent Ichigo for more examinations. Grimmjow never understood half of the things they examined his lover for he just knew it was nothing_ good_ by the worried look on the doctor`s face.

Clearing his throat the doctor shook the blue haired man from his thoughts as he spoke for the first time in hours (and after checking carefully every exam result twice).

"Kurosaki-san this is just a quick diagnose for we haven´t made all the examinations, but…" He glanced at Ichigo and his lover worriedly.

"Just spit it." Grimmjow growled he was tired and wanted to hear what his mate had so they could buy some meds, berry could drink them and then go home and sleep.

Somehow deep down in his non-existent heart he knew that would not be possible.

The medic sighed and sat down before looking at Ichigo and his lover with a pained expression.

"Ichigo, your symptoms all coincide with the first stages of Early Onset Dementia or Alzheimer as it`s more commonly known."

There was a moment of silence before, "You´re kidding me right? I mean, I _can´t_ have Alzheimer, only old people get that…don´t they?" He finished in a questioning whisper gripping his lover´s hand hard.

"Yes and no, that´s why I said Early Onset Dementia, it´s Alzheimer, but only people under the age of sixty five have this." The medic closed his eyes, not really wanting to ask or know the answer to his next question.

"Tell me Ichigo, has anyone in your family suffered from Alzheimer?"

Both Grimmjow´s and the medic`s eyes were trained on him, awaiting his response.

The orange haired male had a look of shock before he answered sincerely to the doctor`s question.

"Yes, my grandfather…from my mother´s side."

A pause.

"I understand."

No other words needed to be said.

That hadn`t been the last time they had been in the hospital or seen the doctor, for his diagnose had been right.

Ichigo had Early Onset Dementia…Alzheimer.

* * *

It had taken a whole week for Ichigo and Grimmjow to assimilate the truth, Ichigo was going to forget everything, everybody…It was quietly and ever so slowly breaking both their hearts.

It had taken another week for them to decide to tell the rest of the Kurosaki family and pack their things to go and live with them, "I want to spend as much time possible before…" Ichigo had said. Grimmjow had silently nodded. Alzheimer, Grimmjow learned; was a big a son of a bitch.

In his life the blue haired man had a few words and things he hated: Aizen, Hueco Mundo, Seireitei, Yamamoto, Ulquiorra and newly integrated in the list was Alzheimer, the little fucker.

To say everything was going well or was going to be ok was a total fucking bitch of a lie.

Nothing was ok. It would never be.

Every single day Ichigo got worse, forgetting recent events (Orihime´s birthday party a week ago, going shopping with Yuzu yesterday) and Grimmjow could only hold him in desperation he held a sobbing Ichigo who in between cries asked what was going to happen when he had forgotten about everything…about him.

They had fought so fucking hard and shed tears of blood to be together only to have some disease rip them apart.

It was unfair, then again whoever said life was fair.

Gripping the weeping man´s chin the ex-Espada lifted his face turning it towards him until having him in an eye to eye level.

The pain the blue haired man experienced before was_ nothing_ compared to seeing Ichigo, the shinigami he had fought to death, who held so much power, so much life crumbled, exhausted, beaten up.

He could feel a burning sensation in his eyes but ignored it as he continued to stare at those beautiful pools of chocolate brown with a mix of gold in them.

"You`ll always have me, always and forever shinigami." With that he pressed his lips harshly to Ichigo`s and kissed the orange head with every single thing he had all his emotions, frustrations, love, hope, desire, longing…sadness.

Knowing the younger male would get the message.

One morning at breakfast in the Kurosaki household had been a shock for everyone, when Ichigo had forgotten Karin´s name.

"Pass me the toast will you…will you…" He stared wide eyed at his black haired younger sister for a while in shock.

Karin understanding what was happening managed a small smile before telling him her name. She had always been a tough girl.

But, she was human and not made of steel, Grimmjow was sure later that morning as he passed the twins room and heard a choked sob, while another sweet voice was trying to soothe the crying one.

"Oh my god Yuzu, he forgot my name…" She sobbed "…and I knew this was going to happen, I mean I fucking know what´s happening to Ichi-nii. But it fucking _hurts_. It hurts so bad to see my brother, my strong hot headed brother like that. I mean he was the one who taught me how to tie my shoelaces, and now _he`ll_ forget how to do it and…"

"You´ll be there to teach him once again, as he once taught you Karin." Yuzu gently told her.

"Now clean up your tears we have to be happy for Ichi-nii or he´ll get sad."

"I know Yuzu. I swear outside this room I`ll be strong, but for now let me cry…let me be weak." She whispered.

Nodding Yuzu gave her one last hug before leaving the room, only to see Grimmjow outside it.

"She`ll be ok." She told him.

Grimmjow nodded. "You both will, I know…you _are_ the shinigami`s sister`s after all."

* * *

Soul Society had also gotten word of their only shinigami substitute`s condition.

Rukia and Renji being the closest to the orange head felt their worlds crash down with the sudden knowledge that their friend was…forgetting.

Yamamoto had sent for Ichigo immediately.

…

It had not been a fun visit at all.

Ichigo couldn`t remember half the faces he saw, much less their names. To say the shinigami were shocked was an understatement, they simply couldn`t believe that the young male before them had forgotten so much already.

The substitute shinigami had no idea what the fuck this place was…and what on earth was he wearing? For fuck`s sake he even had a sword. Everything just looked like some kind of big fucked up dream. Turning towards his lover who know was clad in his `Espada Uniform´ as he had called it, saw him walk as if it was the most natural thing ever. If Grimmjow trusted these people he would too.

The meeting with Yamamoto had been awkward, to say.

"Kurosaki Ichigo do you know why I have called you here within the walls of Seireitei."

Ichigo looked up at the very old man with long beard with curiosity written on his features.

"I honestly have no idea."

The shinigami substitute knew in the deepest darkest pits of his soul that he knew these people, this place, the faces, the clothing, the sword, god when he unsheathed it from its bandages feeling the heavy metal, something akin to sorrow emanated from the weapon he was sure of it.

Yamamoto stared at the young human male before him, his old features softening for a moment as he thought about the future that relayed to the savior of soul society, he was so young yet seen and done so much and now he would not remember a thing.

"I see." Head bowed, Yamamoto wished he did not have to say his next words.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, I hereby strip you of your shinigami substitute duties to Karakura town, and seeing that in your current condition you will never set foot in this place again I will have to take your badge and zanpakutou as well."

Not even the last words had left his mouth when there was an uproar, all the 13 squads where present in the meeting and apparently weren`t pleased with his decision.

"You can take of his rights as a shinigami and keep the fucking badge, but his zanpaktou stays with him, you more than anybody should know that a zanpakutou stays with their master till death."

Yamamoto turned to see Grimmjow speaking towards him.

He did not miss the maniac flash in those blue eyes.

Sighing, the old man sudden felt a lot older that his years.

"Very well." Turning towards Ichigo once again who seemed like he did not have a clue of what was happening he spoke once again. "I wish you the best Kurosaki Ichigo."

* * *

A month later everything had gotten worse.

"SHUT UP! STUPID THING…WORK GODDAMMIT!"

"What the fu…berry what`s wrong?" A panting Grimmjow was outside the door, that lead to the little but comfy laundry room as Ichigo screamed at the washing machine.

"I can´t…" He whispered. "I don´t remember how to use the… the…" He pointed helplessly at the washing machine.

Grimmjow was there by his side as he slid down to his knees on the floor, holding him tightly as he soothed the orange head.

"Don´t worry yourself berry, I`ll do it later, let`s go to bed."

The orange head male just clutched harder onto his shirt.

For several months Ichigo knew what was happening to him, but did not want to accept it…he was slowly forgetting everything.

His past, present, and he was sure he would not be able to even remember when his future would turn into a present or a past.

His friends, family…lover, would all be forgotten.

It made his heart break; crumble and he could hear the shattering of it.

Grimmjow.

What was the cocky, sadistic son of a bitch supposed to do without him? How would he survive? (He actually could take care of himself well, had a job, and even knew how to cook, courtesy of Yuzu). But, what was the older male supposed to do without_ him_, Ichigo, his shinigami, his berry, his other half…the love of his life?

Just thinking about a heartbroken Grimmjow made him cry. He knew truly how much he older male loved him; it was obvious to anybody who had spent even the minimal amount of time with the couple.

The blue haired arrancar had changed for him, fought and shed blood for him, betrayed his so called master for _him_, a fifteen year old kid (at that time) and even to this day he did not regret one thing.

How could Ichigo not cry for his lover, his friend, his _everything_?

"Grimm." Ichigo whispered to his lover`s lips later that night. "Make love to me like no other time, fuck me so hard I won`t be able to forget, get yourself as deep inside me our souls will be one." He knew it was such a cheesy and corny thing to say, but he was desperate, desperate to feel his lover, the need to not forget his touch…

The older male didn`t need to be told twice, giving Ichigo a small peck on the lips he lifted himself up a bit as he straddled the orange heads hips. Not once his eyes leaving those deep never ending pools of gold, Grimmjow tantalizing slowly took off his shirt, revealing his scarred but fir chest to his lover.

The Kurosaki elder stared in awe as if it were the first time him seeing his lover`s body. With a shaky hand he slowly passed his fingers in a light caress at the scarred skin, leaving a trail of hot desire and unspoken words on his way.

"It was in a fight…with me…" He closed his eyes remembering, trying to keep those vivid images of his first fight with the arrancar deep into the pits of his soul, mind and heart.

"…I managed to hit you, and did that." Opening his always expressive eyes he stared at Grimmjow.

"Why did you keep it, if in you`re gigai you could have been without it?"

Azure eyes stared at him, his lips, and his face in a studying manner, before slowly replying.

"It reminds me of when I first saw you, when I knew someday you would be mine…and deep inside me I knew I would do anything for the fucking shinigami with a cocky attitude and such deep penetrating eyes."

Leaning closer to his face, Grimmjow sealed his lips with his lover`s plump ones in a slow deep kiss.

No more words were needed.

`Kiss´ The orange head told himself, afraid of forgetting what this act was called.

Moving his mouth lower the blue haired man worked on his neck as his large warm hands lost themselves under the hem of Ichigo`s shirt, snake like fingers slithering up his abs leaving a tingly feeling behind as they made their way towards his nipples, thumbs passing and flicking making them turn into hardening nubs.

Ichigo moaned.

`Pleasure´ Another word he hoped never to forget.

Ridding the younger male of his shirt, Grimmjow trailed his tongue down his berry's neck savoring the shiver that went through his body as he went towards a dark colored nipple, sucking lightly and nipping on it before taking it completely in his mouth.

He looked up to see the orange head staring at him with heavy lidded eyes, lust clearly written in his face.

Smirking he bit down lightly, enjoying the moan that came from above.

`Lust´ How many years had passed and Grimmjow could still make him feel like a hormonal induced teenager with his first crush?

"You`re so fucking beautiful berry." Soft lips murmured against his skin, making that tingling sensation come back.

Licking his navel, experienced hands took off his jeans and boxers in record time, before softly taking hum in his mouth and making Ichigo`s mind go blank.

What did he ever do to deserve such a fucking perfect man? Why was he going to forget his perfect man?

Closing his eyes he felt them burn with unleashed tears, he could feel the corner of his eyes prickle, from ecstasy or sorrow he did not know.

In a matter of seconds Grimmjow found himself on his back as his lover straddled him, ridding him of his clothing.

And the next moment Kurosaki was hugging him.

"Aishiteru Grimm." He whispered in his ear, soft lips, and such softer words coming from a normally aggressive person.

"I know berry, I love you too." He muttered as he held his slim waist close to his own frame.

Lifting himself he looked deeply onto the beautiful teal eyes Grimmjow was blessed with.

He loved them, the blueness of them, like too deep pools of pure ocean water.

"Grimm, I want you inside me."

He soon found himself on his back and in a furious lip lock with familiar lips.

He didn`t even feel the first or second nor the third fingers stretching him.

Al he knew was that he wanted, no needed Grimmjow inside him, being made one.

In a matter of seconds he felt something hard and warm on his backside and he knew Grimmjow was aliening himself, and then a slight push and…he was in.

No pain, no splitting him in half, he fit right in as if he was made to be there.

Ichigo sighed in content. This was the closest two people could be, they were one, even if for just a bit.

All the orange head male would wish for was that it would last more than a moment.

* * *

Ichigo knew something had happened the night before when he woke up naked, tired and his backside in a slight pain.

In reality he had never had a better sleep.

"Grimm, did we do…no, I know we did something yesterday, but I can`t remember _anything_."

"Wha?" Came a sleepy reply.

"Grimm! I can`t remember anything of yesterday`s events. I mean nothing, what day was it, what year, where am I…I can`t…"

Blue eyes widened.

"Shit." He cursed under his breath.

"Come on berry, let`s get you in some clothes, we`re going to the hospital."

Grimmjow closed his eyes refusing to pinch his nose from the upcoming headache; he knew this day would happen, the medic had clearly told him it could be any day.

He simply refused to listen, to know it was real.

Ichigo had been admitted to the hospital that day and was ordered to stay there from now on from the chief medic himself.

It was said he had to monitor at all times.

So that`s how the orange head male found himself sitting on a very comfortable chair, in a robe and slippers as a blue haired man made his way to him, tea tray in his hands.

Grimmjow, ever since Ichigo had been hospitalized, visited him every single day after work, sometimes even taking the measure to go on his lunch break.

So when he went in that Friday evening, he expected it to be as always, speak hours with berry, cuddle, teach him a couple of things he had forgotten, etc.

"Oh Jaegerjaquez-san you`re here earlier." Ichigo`s nurse smiled warmly to him.

"Got outta work early to see berry, want me to take that for you?" He said nodding towards the tea tray in her hands.

She nodded in acceptance. "Kurosaki-san is out in garden taking some fresh air, he`s been a little down today…not one of his best days." She had lowered her voice a sad smile on her face.

Taking the tray the blue haired male understood perfectly what she was trying to say.

"I understand, thank you."

With that he grabbed the tea tray and made his way out to the garden.

It didn't take long for him to spot Ichigo, his orange mass of hair being noticeable almost anywhere.

He made it there on record time, his longs legs giving him some advantage.

"Yo berry how are you feeling today?" He asked as he set the tea tray down on the small glass table.

No one answered.

He looked up to see two curious honey colored eyes watching him and his every move.

"Excuse me but, do I know you?" The words were spoken lightly, softly almost as if afraid of hurting him or sounding rude.

The teal haired man closed his eyes, wishing he had never heard those words.

It literally broke Grimmjow`s heart.

`Do I know you?´ He knew this day would come, kami he knew, and all the mental preparation in the world, the acceptance that his lover would one day forget him…fuck, everything he thought about a million times did not prepare him for the pain, the burning behind his eyes, the feeling of sorrow, anger…love.

He couldn`t take it, it hurt too fucking much.

He wasn`t prepared for this. Not today not tomorrow, not ever.

But he was Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, Sexta Espada and a ruthless warrior; he would suck it up, for Ichigo.

Grinning at Ichigo he held out his hand.

"Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez." Ichigo didn't even waver as he shook the blue haired man`s hand, not being able to even stop the words from coming out of his mouth.

"You have beautiful eyes. They`re blue, a deep pure blue color…I like them."

Grimmjow froze. Ichigo had always told him he loved his eyes, reminded him of two big pools of pure ocean water he once said.

Closing his eyes once again, he felt his chest tighten and his eyes burn even more.

He had to get out of here.

"Be…Ichigo, I have to go, drink your tea before it gets cold and I`ll tell the nurse to come for ya in a couple of minutes ´kay?"

Ichigo nodded, listening closely to every word the blue haired man said.

"Will you come back tomorrow?" He almost shyly said.

The blue haired nodded, not being able to speak.

With that Grimmjow turned and walked away.

* * *

Nobody at the Kurosaki house said anything as Grimmjow almost crashed his car while parking it, kicked the fence door open, threw his car keys and suitcase on the grass, entered and slammed the door shut all while looking positively dead, literally broken, fucking angry, and so blood thirsty.

Renji, Rukia (who were now Karakura towns new watchers, even if just temporarily), Isshin, Urahara, Karin, Yuzu, Yoruichi, Orihime, Chad and Ishida sat still as Grimmjow looked at them with a lost expression on his face.

"I need to kill someone or something…maybe that son of a bitch Aizen, where is he?" He muttered.

"Been dead for the past ten years." Someone, Renji it sounded like, answered.

"Ahh."

With that he almost ripped of his tie while untangling it, unbuttoned his shirt grabbed his other car keys and left the house, not before whispering.

"It`s official, he doesn`t remember anyone anymore."

His back being to them, he had no idea how was it that they reacted, not that he cared at that moment.

The rest remained silent.

For they all knew if Ichigo couldn`t remember his lover, he would not remember the rest of them.

They just hoped Grimmjow didn`t get himself killed.

"We should…"Rukia started.

Urahara shook his head. "Grimmjow-kun needs to be alone."

* * *

Grimmjow drove, drove and drove, he knew he was far above the speed limit and frankly he didn`t give a fuck.

The feeling of the cold air passing through his hair made him feel alive and numbed; he relished the feeling for a moment.

It didn`t take long for him to arrive at his destined place, the beach.

It was a beautiful heartbreaking sight.

The moon cascading the top of the ocean, making it look solitary and vast beyond recognition. The calming sound of ocean waves, his own melody to hear, his lullaby.

This would be his sanctuary for tonight and it would welcome him with open wide arms.

Walking up towards the shore, he took off his shoes and socks in the process, needing to feel the roughness of the sand on his feet as they sank while he walked.

Every step he took it was harder to breathe, harder to live, harder to simply not feel.

He felt like sinking deep in the sand at the moment was not such a bad idea.

Not being able to get near the water he dropped on his knees, the weight of his mind, heart, shoulders, and soul to much for him to carry anymore.

His emotions were turmoil inside him, a time bomb ticking slowly, deadly until the moment it would explode.

There in the middle of a desolated beach late at night, with only the silver pearly whiteness of the moon, calming sound of ocean water and raspy sand below his knees…

… For the first time in his life, Grimmjow cried.

The stinging pressure in his eyes was finally released as he felt a rivulet of tears trickle down his cheeks, and once he started he could not find the will to stop.

He did not want to stop. He deserved to mourn his lost even if just this once.

As he punched the sand in front of him something akin to a howl left him, his pain was too much to bear.

For his lover could not remember him.

* * *

Nobody questioned Grimmjow when he arrived the next day, shoeless, sockless and with red puffy eyes to the Kurosaki household.

Stopping before Isshin he looked up to the older, wiser male. "I`ll be leaving today, there`s no reason for me to intrude your home anymore…I`ll still be visiting Ichigo everyday at the hospi…"

"Unacceptable." Isshin interfered.

"You are part of this family Grimmjow and you know this family sticks together until the end, and you are not intruding by any means. I`m not telling you to stay forever, I know you have your business, but stay for some time…this is your home."

Blues eyes widened…home…family? How long had it been since he had heard those word? Until today Ichigo had been his home and his only family, and know…

"I´m home." He whispered. This was berry`s home and family, so it could be his too.

Isshin`s eyes softened for a moment, seeing the blue haired cocky man so lifeless and lost was so unlike him he knew then and there exactly how much the man in front of him loved his son.

"Yes my son, you`re home." Not being able to hold much longer he engulfed the younger male in a bone crushing hug making the other still for a moment before relaxing in the embrace.

He was not alone.

* * *

Month`s had passed since Ichigo forgetting Grimmjow and the ex-Espada visited him daily, sometimes the orange head male remembering him others not.

And sometimes he would be his old self the Ichigo Grimmjow had fallen for when they had first fought.

It would be only for a couple of minutes, hours and if he was lucky even a whole day.

Those were the time`s that killed him and made him happy the most.

"Grimm." The first time Ichigo woke up remembering everything, he had wasted his precious time (in Grimmjow`s view) speaking to him.

"Grimm, I want you to be happy. If you ever find someone else, be happy with them, love them as you love me…I don`t want you to be alone Grimmjow."

The arrancar just stared. Even in his current state the strawberry was still thinking of him.

Stupid berry.

Engulfing the younger male in a hug he stroked the soft silky orange locks in his hand before burying his face in them.

"Stupid berry, my stupid berry." He muttered.

"I don`t want anybody else, I only need you, I don`t care how many time you`ll forget me I`ll make you remember and if that doesn`t work I`ll make you fall for me once, twice, as many times as I need to keep you as mine…and I`m not alone I have your sister`s and the crazy old goat."

The smile on Ichigo`s face made him know that indeed everything would be fine.

All would be well in time. After all both he and the berry are fighters, they wouldn`t give up so easily, all they had to do was stay together for the ride.

After all, what was life without a little fight?

* * *

Grimmjow grinned to himself as he made his way to the hospital, bouquet of red roses in the passenger seat.

Courting.

Grimmjow`s smirk widened at the thought of him courting Ichigo, maybe if he was lucky he could get a kiss today.

Barking out a laugh he sped up, after all he couldn`t be late for his date.


End file.
